Mastho is listening to a song from the 1980s. Suddenly he closes his eyes, stricken by a feeling of pain in his heart region. Why this pain... is it because he remembered a moment of ecstasy? But pleasurable feelings are supposed to give us feelings of pleasure... the memory of an almost forgotten smile of a girl... who made Mastho feel something he rarely felt in his depths... the memory now brings a pang of unmistakable sadness... but why? The girl did not die... she still is with Mastho, partnering his life, cooking food for his daughters...
Then why did a beautiful feeling of yesteryear bring this unkind feeling in his chest? Mastho's mind is now swimming in spirals... into realms that are deep or high... he cant make out the difference, but his being is now going at speeds, searching for an answer...
A song, its notes, its tune, its myriad instruments culminating to give a harmony... is in reality just a sound... But how does this sound create strange feelings, subtle discernible patterns in the depths of Mastho's being? How does a song carry the power to treasure each individual's memories of those particular times? What is the secret behind the renewal of forgotten feelings in a split moment when Mastho listens to a simple 'pattern piece' of a song?
With this power it has, to bring back memories, the song leaves us in a vibration that we were in in that particular moment in that exact day in the past... And there... the moment that feeling arises, the pain too strikes the heart with vengeance...
Why should pleasure give pain... Just as pain starts giving pleasure? Mastho is thinking... and swimming in the skies of his being... one moment in the stringent concrete paths of logic... another moment in the soft open meadows of non-logical creative streams of the right brain...
Another song starts and Masto has switched gears... and yet another piece of lyric strikes hard jerking out an unexpected tear in his left eye...
And now, the soothing melody, the notes touched by the maestro are slowly clearing clouds in Mastho's mind... "Missing"... he uttered out... his co-passenger in the bus looked at him as if he did not understand... "Missing" is the meaning of the pain that strikes soon after a pleasurable memory surfaces from the depths of days gone... "I am missing that pleasure... I am missing that moment... I am feeling this pain because that moment of pleasure is not available to me at this moment... that is the meaning"... Mastho mused...
A song... a moment of pleasure... a bout of pain... a frenzy of inner search... a flash of realization... and now, very slowly a subtle smile appeared on Mastho... a smile not of Alexander winning over his enemy... but the smile of gratitude that appeared when the cow went back to it's kid after the lion finally let go of it...
Then why did a beautiful feeling of yesteryear bring this unkind feeling in his chest? Mastho's mind is now swimming in spirals... into realms that are deep or high... he cant make out the difference, but his being is now going at speeds, searching for an answer...
A song, its notes, its tune, its myriad instruments culminating to give a harmony... is in reality just a sound... But how does this sound create strange feelings, subtle discernible patterns in the depths of Mastho's being? How does a song carry the power to treasure each individual's memories of those particular times? What is the secret behind the renewal of forgotten feelings in a split moment when Mastho listens to a simple 'pattern piece' of a song?
With this power it has, to bring back memories, the song leaves us in a vibration that we were in in that particular moment in that exact day in the past... And there... the moment that feeling arises, the pain too strikes the heart with vengeance...
Why should pleasure give pain... Just as pain starts giving pleasure? Mastho is thinking... and swimming in the skies of his being... one moment in the stringent concrete paths of logic... another moment in the soft open meadows of non-logical creative streams of the right brain...
Another song starts and Masto has switched gears... and yet another piece of lyric strikes hard jerking out an unexpected tear in his left eye...
And now, the soothing melody, the notes touched by the maestro are slowly clearing clouds in Mastho's mind... "Missing"... he uttered out... his co-passenger in the bus looked at him as if he did not understand... "Missing" is the meaning of the pain that strikes soon after a pleasurable memory surfaces from the depths of days gone... "I am missing that pleasure... I am missing that moment... I am feeling this pain because that moment of pleasure is not available to me at this moment... that is the meaning"... Mastho mused...
A song... a moment of pleasure... a bout of pain... a frenzy of inner search... a flash of realization... and now, very slowly a subtle smile appeared on Mastho... a smile not of Alexander winning over his enemy... but the smile of gratitude that appeared when the cow went back to it's kid after the lion finally let go of it...
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